


I'll Just Have To Hug Myself Instead

by peridoll



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 13:57:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7174568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peridoll/pseuds/peridoll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peridot misses her home, but she mostly misses Jasper. Ficlet. For Jaspidot Sunday Prompt 2: Hurt/Comfort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Just Have To Hug Myself Instead

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is for Jaspidot Sunday! If you like Jaspidot, then you should definitely go check this blog out. I'm a mod! http://jaspidot-sunday.tumblr.com/ Anyway, this is rlly personal for me cuz I'm in an LDR and sometimes it gets rough being so far away from my love. So this is super short, but still pretty dang painful for me, at least. And I'm sure a lot of other people are in similar situations; don't worry, you'll see your loved ones soon <3 Enjoy!

Peridot sat at the edge of the lapping waves, watching as her toes were swallowed by the white foam before the water receded, only to come back again a few seconds later. Sand stuck to the bottom of her thighs and dirtied up her shorts, but she couldn’t have cared less at that moment. Tears dripped onto her lap and she held her palms open and up to catch the droplets, one by one. At least she could make up an excuse; if Steven pointed out her bloodshot eyes or her wet clothes, she could say she went for a quick dip in the ocean. Just a nice, refreshing night-time swim. She lifted her visor to wipe her eyes with the back of her hand.

It was official. Jasper was  _ really  _ missing. When she was first told, she didn’t think much of it. Jasper was strong, afterall.  _ They’ll turn up in the next week, I’m sure of it _ , Peridot thought to herself. Then the week passed, and Jasper didn’t show. A month passed, and still no Jasper. Peridot worried by the windowsill day after day, keeping an eye out on the ocean, for either a body or a sparkling gem to wash up on the shore.

Sure, the crystal gems had become like a family to her, after they defined what a family was. The barn was her home and the temple was her second home. She moved back to the living room and took over the couch two months after Jasper’s disappearance, but when asked why, she assured it was just because Lapis kicked her out. She passed off any more questions with a wave of her hand.

Sure, Earth was her new home, and she loved every inch she had seen so far. Sure everything was better now that she was light-years away from Homeworld. Yet... she still found herself yearning to go back sometimes. She had all of the autonomy and freedom in the world on Earth, unlike the cruel and heavy-handed rule she lived under back on Homeworld. Yet... She missed the stuffy weather, the two suns, and the smell of metal and technology. She missed gazing out over the civilization she lived in from her cozy personal quarters. As beautiful as Earth was, it  _ wasn’t _ Homeworld, and that was both a curse and a blessing.

Peridot found herself thinking of Jasper the most. There was no going back to Homeworld - she would be crushed the second she set foot on land - but there still existed a piece of what she craved, and on the same planet as her. Jasper was all she had left of her old home, her old ways, her old self. And while she enjoyed being fresh and shiny and new, with no limb enhancers or oppressive regimes holding her down, she missed Jasper’s embrace more than she found comfort in having a home with the crystal gems. Peridot would’ve rather been lost and scared  _ but with Jasper  _ than alone and surrounded by gems who  _ weren’t  _ Jasper. She adored the crystal gems, and even Lapis. She adored having the courage to  _ talk  _ to the other gems freely without fear. But none of them were Jasper.

The sun had set by the time Peridot dragged her sore eyes to gaze into the horizon. In the distance, waves lifted and settled over and over, preparing to head towards the coast to crash, only to fall back deep into the ocean once again. Each crashing wave made Peridot’s insides twist a little tighter. At each crashing wave, Peridot expected to see Jasper’s head pop up above the surface somewhere in her field of vision. Their thick, dusty hair would be immediately distinguishable. More hot tears flooded Peridot’s eyes.

“I just wish you were here...” the green gem found herself whispering to the sand around her. She ran her fingers through the soft white grains, burying her hands until they were completely covered. She swallowed thickly, lips curling into a pout as she glared at the water in front of her.

“Give Jasper back, you- you... monster!” she hissed, gripping handfuls of sand in a sudden bout of rage and throwing them into the water. The sand merely dissipated, and that only angered her more. She leapt to her feet, letting out a growl, and kicked an incoming wave, splashing up water. She kicked again, again, again, until she had splashed her own cloudy hair enough to make the sides stick to her cheeks, and at last let out an agonizing wail. She flung her head back to the sky and cried to the clear, dark sky. The tiny gem stood ankle deep in the bone-chilling water, before falling to her knees.

“Please... please! Give them back!” Peridot’s eyes fell back to the horizon, and waited with baited breath, as if the universe would deliver Jasper to her arms. She had begged, what more could she do? But Jasper never came. “Please... They’re all I have left.” She waited more. Still no Jasper. “I’ll do anything. I just- I need them. I need to be in their arms again, I don’t think you understand! Have you ever been held before?! Have some sympath-”

Suddenly, Peridot felt large arms wrap around her tiny frame from behind, and she froze. The grasp was tight, protective, warm, and the scent of natural dirt and pheromones wafted into Peridot’s nostrils. “Ja...” She turned, ready to kiss the striped face and the perfectly formed gem that rest on the spot where her mate’s nose should be, but the embrace was gone as fast as it had come.

Jasper was still missing. Miles and miles away from Peridot, probably. But the warmth of the green gem’s mate lingered, and she hugged herself instead. It would have to do.

_ Somewhere on the shore of a deserted island, Jasper hugged themself too. _


End file.
